Piece 1: Whining

Whining- 1. To utter a plaintive, high-pitched, protracted sound, as in pain, fear, supplication, or complaint. 2. To complain or protest in a childish fashion.

I'll be honest, I'm not sure what I want to write about. Everything that comes to me just makes me sound like I'm whining and complaining about my life, which I am, and that is just no fun. Yet, I still want to write something.

I want to write about how I am tired. About how I don't want to listen to my mother complain about money for one more second. About how I'm tired of subbing and going to another interview and not getting another job. About how I'm tired of working out constantly and watching what I eat constantly and still having to see my naturally thin siblings do nothing and be perfect. About how I don't want to deal with my father and all the negativity that he brings. About how I feel like I work and work and work and I never seem to gain anything.

Like, I said it's all complaints and all pretty ridiculous. I should be thankful that I have a mother who lets me live with her and I should understand how hard getting by is for her. I should be thankful that I have a job and even get called for an interview when lots of others don't. I should be happy that I can afford a gym membership, that I am healthy, and that I am losing weight the right way. I should be thankful that my father is alive, even if our relationship is difficult to say the least. And I should be thankful to have what I need and not want more, because I don't necessarily need it.

I should be thankful and realize all of this, but really sometimes you just want to whine and complain and just be terrible person to be around. I guess that today is one of those days for me, and sadly I took it out on here. Hopefully, the next post to come will be a little more upbeat and interesting.

Always Start With the Edges

So about 8 or so months ago I decided that I wanted to start a blog. I successfully wrote one extremely short post. And yet, I felt I had accomplished something and was so proud of myself for starting something new, something that I WOULD stay committed to. Well, I can say now that I definitely didn't follow through at all. Since that day I have not wrote a single post until now, and honestly how do I know if I will post again. If history is doomed to repeat itself then my next post my very well be in August. I guess we'll just see what happens.

My initial intent for this blog was to open my life up, moment by moment, to the world (or anyone bored enough to stumble across this) to read. I was wanting to convey my efforts to put my life together and find peace. I would still love to do that, but I don't want to set myself up for failure so I am just going to go with the flow. I'll just see what comes to me when I feel like writing. Who knows, maybe I will come up with something profound and significant, or maybe I will just bore us all to tears...

I guess a little background knowledge on the writer couldn't be bad. To sum it all up: I'm 23, I still live at home, I'm a substitute teacher, who desperately wants a REAL teaching job, and I can't seem to change any of this. Depressing enough?

To add a little more: I love to travel, but don't get to do it nearly enough. I love to cook and collect cookbooks, but never have the chance to actually cook anything in them. I love to learn, but only seem to remember those random facts that no one needs/wants to know. I'm a reader that wishes she could write.

There is more to me, I certainly wouldn't use the word simple to describe me or my life, but hopefully those things will come out through here over time.